Sunday, July 15, 2007
Hallowed be this day
Watching them work methodically, I feel a sense of detachment between their tasks and the intention behind them. My hands have never looked so alive. Deep gold from hours of work in the sun, veins hugging my skeleton like determined vines, my precise little tools have quite the developing repertoire. My medium has been gracious enough to tolerate my experiments, frustrations, and questions. She has taken me in and molded my form.
The possibilities are mounting and I find my dreams flowering in wild new directions. I strive for focus tempered by sweetness, and the blood, sweat, and tears become less a thing to struggle through and more a gift to be savored. I want a hiatus of sorts. I can no longer tolerate the destructive, cyclical patterns of thought force fed from birth in these parts. I can no longer tolerate blindness, deceit, or apathy. Mine eyes have seen the nothing and the everything, I have left my Iago trance, and I cannot go back.
How best to strive for greatness now? Part of me is inclined to give up everything as a testament to my ever new awareness. But as my prized possessions and collections cry to me from moldy walls, it seems they are only in need of a new space. Maybe a change in scenery would better serve my ambitions than potpourri daydreams.
My loved ones have been a total treasure to me through this entire process. They have showered me with patience and encouragement. Each of them have played vital roles in critical moments, and I am very grateful for their continued faith in me.
I would like to sanctify this day as hallowed day of possibility, paradox, and potential. My dearest friend, confidant, starpartner Erin, has let me move in. She is a passionate, awe-inspiring painter and a worthy fellow adventurer. I have a new job downtown, and a new plan for my first real raku line. I hope to move soon, I've gotten rid of 95% if the things that I own. I'm now mobile and flight-ready. All I ask of my new home is that it offer a plethora of natural adventures, and a quiet place for study, experimentation, and meditation. I don't think the answer is in others for me right now, but if there must be others, I hope they are serene and loving. I hope to delve completely into my medium, so that I can be honest in my pursuits.
Someone recently entered my life by coincidence, meeting me at the soul with a gentle hello. Since that moment, somehow he has stayed in my thoughts, in my dreams. It's all beautifully peculiar to me. I'm buzzed with thoughts of star-crossed lovers and the body electric. We are separated by a great distance, iron, and rock, but his vibrations still echo in the hollow of my chest.